HOW TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CHILD

Self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or her abilities. This arises out of achievements, great and small. Your encouraging words can help develop this confidence, especially when you refer to your child's specific efforts or abilities.

Here are 6  tips to help build self-confidence in your child:

MODEL SELF-LOVE AND POSITIVE SELF-TALK

You must love yourself before you can teach your child to love him or herself. You can model this behavior by rewarding and praising yourself when you do well. Whether you run a marathon, get a promotion at work or throw a successful party, celebrate your successes with your children. Talk about the skills and talents and efforts needed for you to achieve those accomplishments. In the same conversation, you can remind your child of the skills he or she possesses and how they can be developed and used.

LIMIT MEDIA TO SMALL DOSES

Every form of media – social media, television, movies, magazines and even books – portray women in objectifying ways. They’re too sexy, too suggestive, too weak, and too many other negative connotations. Exposure to media will create harmful effects such as comparing herself to others, body shaming, and even online bullying. Be careful to screen movies and consider what messages you allow your daughter to have access to.

INSTILL INDEPENDENCE AND ADVENTURE

Self-confident children are willing to try new things without fear of failure. With younger children, you will need to supervise from the sidelines. Set up situations where she can do things for herself and make sure the situation is safe—but then give her space. For example, demonstrate how to make a sandwich and then let her try it on her own, without your hovering or intervening. Encourage exploration, whether it's a trip to a new park or new foods at mealtime. Daytrips and outings, new hobbies, vacations and trips with teammates or schoolmates can all expand your child's horizons and build confidence in her ability to handle new situations.

SPEAK HIGHLY OF OTHER WOMEN

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." – Eleanor Roosevelt
Never is this more important than now, when you’re working hard to model good behavior to your daughter. Don’t talk bad or gossip about others especially of their appearance, body, shortcomings, difference of opinion and choices. Focus on the positive aspects of a person, or try to put yourself in their shoes to show empathy.

Model behavior on how to build up others, instead of tearing them down. Give compliments and talk brightly about women because if you speak badly about them, chances are your daughter will do the same. You will be a great role model when you celebrate other women’s successes and accomplishments.

LEAVE APPEARANCES OUT OF IT

Who your daughter is, isn’t tied to how she looks or what she wears. You don’t want to raise a daughter whose self-worth is directly connected to her appearance and the way she dresses herself.

Worth instead, is based on who she is. Praise your daughter for her kindness, integrity, determination, problem-solving, effort and positive characteristics.

What do you admire about her? What are her strengths? Is she a good leader, does she work hard in sports or encourages her friends? What does she enjoy doing and puts extra effort into? Emphasize the positive traits that make her who she is, not how pretty she looks or the shape of her body.

SET RULES AND BE CONSISTENT 

Children are more confident when they know who is in charge and what to expect. Even if your child thinks your rules are too strict, she will have confidence in what she can and can't do when you set rules and enforce them consistently. Every household will have different rules, and they will change over time based on your child's age. Whatever your household rules, be clear on what is important in your family. Learning and following rules gives children a sense of security and confidence. As children get older they may have more input on rules and responsibilities. But, it's important to remember that you are the parent—not a best friend. Someday when your child is feeling peer pressure, he or she may appreciate having the foundation and confidence to say, "No, I can't do that."