Kids are porous little sponges, and if you're a parent, you know that they are constantly watching your every move and soaking up every good and bad word you say. Even though your children are young, what you say and do in front of them matters. When it comes to leaving a profound impression, here are things parents should make a point to do in front of their children.
BE AFFECTIONATE
Let's face it, some of us are more affectionate than others. So how important is it for our children to see us being physically affectionate towards our spouse? According to the Canadian Counseling and Physchotherapy Association, when children see their parents displaying suitable forms of affection, they will have mental images of what a healthy relationship should be when they are older. Parents who openly hug, kiss, and share appropriate and loving physical touch are giving their children the indicator of a healthy, loving relationship, and in turn, stability in the home.
APOLOGIZE
The most difficult two words to learn in life may quite possibly be, "I'm sorry". The power of a sincere, public apology is like a pebble thrown into a pond; the ripple effect is significant. If you and your spouse can recognize when you're wrong, and model good behavior by apologizing, your kids will see and internalize that. Learning to apologize is a communication skill essential to being a responsible human being. The best place for kids to learn that skill is at home, in a loving environment where mom and dad aren't afraid to say, "I'm sorry."
LAUGH, JOKE AND BE SILLY
Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." How true! And how valuable are the days, the hours, the minutes that we spend with our children? Laughter clings to the walls of a home and deposits sparkles of magic. One of the most important ways to stay close as a family is to have fun together, and that means laughing, joking, and even being silly. The benefits of doing so are huge! Having fun in the home relieves stress, boosts endorphins, and builds super-hero-strong relationships.
Life can't all be fun and games, but if you find yourself being the "serious parent" more often than not, try lightening it up a bit. Playing with your children fuels their imagination and creativity, as well as brings you closer together.
APPRECIATE AND APPLAUD EACH OTHER'S EFFFORT
Try to appreciate and applaud each other’s hard work and success in front of your child to show them that a healthy relationship involves both giving positive and negative feedback, when needed. By praising each other’s good work in front of your children, they learn the value of hard work and being considerate to other’s feelings.
DISAGREE RESPONSIBLY AND CONSIDRATELY
Hitching yourself to one person for the rest of your life is amazing when you share deep, soul-moving conversations or downright juvenile laughs over "Dumb and Dumber". But it's kind of frustrating when one partner likes the air conditoner at a frigid 62 degrees and the other at a toasty 75. Or when one is a spender and the other a saver. Disagreements in marriage will inevitably occur. But how our children see us disagreeing can shape their emotional security, behavior, and future relationships.
In a study published in the journal Child Development, kids whose parents fought the most when the child was in kindergarten were more emotionally insecure and had more mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and behavioral problems later in life. When a child sees his parents fighting, yelling, or getting emotionally or physically abusive, it affects their sense of security and well-being.
Children should see that every relationship comes with some level of conflict. What they need to see is that conflict can be dealt with and resolved in a courteous and constructive manner.
WORK THROUGH DIFFICULT PROBLEM
Parenting is tough business. Money, jobs, and responsibilities will, at some point or another, cause obstacles. Kids who see their parents working through difficult problems together will learn valuable problem solving skills themselves, as well as feel love and security in the home.
SHARING EACH OTHER'S INTEREST
Love is not the only thing you share when you get hitched to your partner. You might come from different background and with different interests, but it is important to show your child that you two share each other’s interests and spend valuable time on them together to encourage a healthy relationship. You can go on a run together, take up a hobby like painting, pottery or cooking together, to show your kid the importance of spending quality time together.
The way our children see us behaving is the way they will learn to behave and treat strangers, friends, and future children. The ripple effect is significant.
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